Sunday, October 09, 2005

Tower Critique: Teras Craps

10/09/2005

Teras Craps.

It does? Ba-dum CHING! Thank you, thank you… I’m here all week, and don’t forget to tip your waitress. Good night!

Who says the Dhe’nar don’t know how to have fun? Dhe’nar enjoy games just as much as the next elf, although their games are a bit more bloody than your usual way to pass the time.

‘Cause they’re EEEEEVIL. Remember?

The latest sport is a game called Teras Craps, invented by Highlord Starsnuffer Sunslayer. On foggy nights, games are often started in the tower on Teras Isle, open to all who wish to gamble and don’t mind losing an arm or a leg. Here are the rules and instructions for those who want to join in on a game:

The rules for Teras Craps are just like the rules for regular craps. Roll the dice for the first time. If you roll a 7 or an 11, you win. However, if you roll another number, you must roll again, and keep rolling until you roll that number again. If you roll a 7 or an 11 before you roll your number again, you lose.

What makes this Teras Craps is the addition to the rules. If you roll doubles at any time, you get a limb chopped off (or better, blown off if there is a sorcerer handy). If you lose all your limbs, you lose as well (since you can’t roll anymore).

So it’s craps for sado-masochists. Got it, how original. Let’s move on.

Let’s take a look at a sample game....

Oh god… please, no.

Starshadow, Gryphon, Starsnuffer and Rasulis are sitting in the tower playing Teras Craps. Starshadow rolls first. She rolls a 6 and a 5, winning with an 11. Since the winner must roll again, she picks up the dice and rolls a 4 and a 6. To win, she must roll a 10 before she rolls a 7 or an 11. She rolls again, getting a 5 and a 3, and again getting a 4 and a 3, which causes her to lose the game.

Gryphon picks up the dice, being the next to play. She rolls a 3 and a 1. She must roll another 4 before she rolls a 7 or an 11 to win. She rolls again, getting a 6 and a 2, and again, getting a 6 and a 6. Doubles. Rasulis, who is the Official Limb Remover, blows off her arm. Starsnuffer laughs.

::sigh::

Undaunted, she rolls again, getting a 1 and a 2. She rolls again, getting a 2 and a 2. She’s rolled her 4...and doubles again. Rasulis blows off a leg, and Gryphon wins.

And blah blah blah… the rest edited out because WHO CARES? It’s just like normal craps, only EEEEVIL, got it? What other games do they play? Castration Poker? Defenestration Tiddlywinks?